Saturday, May 1, 2010

Here's why...

MajorWally's comment, to me, reads as: "Come on man, I wanted more" which is nice to hear IF it's a sincere compliment. However, his phrasing leads me to believe that this isn't exactly the sentiment. Instead, (and yes, I know I'm paranoid at times) it appears to imply that I cut the episode into two parts due to simple laze or indifference which is hardly the case. Please, read on.

If Aesop was pretentious, had lousy punctuation, and internet access... this would be his lost fable.
Once there was a man with oversized genitalia who liked to garden. His friend, a wealthy mo-fo, owned a plot of land twenty minutes from the Gardener's home and one day said 'have at it dude, plant yourself a garden on my dime.I promise, it'll make ya' happier'.
The Gardener thought it wise to seize the opportunity but couldn't go it alone so he called a friend who refused to help plant half the shit the Gardener wanted to, but possessed some essential tools for gardening. Then he called another friend from a nearby village who was so-so with the technical aspects of gardening but had an awesomely fucked-up accent that was fun to rip on.
So, by no one's request, and with his friend's blessing(as long as a small section of the garden was reserved for a certain psychoactive plant), the Gardener began traveling the twenty minutes each way to his friend's land to plant flowers with his two buddies once a week.
He did this not only because he wanted to, but also thought the villagers would be into it.
The Gardener understood by the end of the week all the villagers would have seen the flowers and he knew he had to replace all the shit he just planted or the landscape would quickly become boring and the villagers would ditch him and his gay-ass garden pronto.
After the wealthy friend pimped the garden hardcore, the villagers took notice. Most were appreciative for this unrequested and free-gratis(Swearengen shout-out!) nicety, so they left notes on the community bulletin board for the gardener and his crew telling them so.
What a very small minority of the villagers didn't consider was; traveling and planting accounted for 2-3 hours of the process. In addition, the gardener had to choose what flowers he thought he, his posse and the villagers would like most then prune and trim that shit which took another 10-12 hours and just when one garden was finished, work had to begin on the next. Consistency was the name of the game.
Despite taking on easily 12-15 hours of uncompensated work each week, the Gardener was more than happy to oblige since 99% of the villagers seemed to enjoy the fruits of his labor. On top of it all, the quality of the wealthy man's strain was increasing so no complaints there except the guy without the awesomely fucked-up accent acted like that section of the garden was fertilized nuclear waste and bitched about it ad nauseum.
One day while checking out the community board he found a note from MajorWally. This particular villager fell into the 1% category. You know, the complainers/haters/trolls. MajorWally dropped this line to inform the Gardener that his efforts that particular week were inadequate.
In his younger days the Gardener might have told MajorWally to go fuck himself and allowed the little ingrate to spoil his mood. Thankfully, the Gardener has that aforementioned assistant who taught him a little something about not sweating the small stuff. More importantly, there are a boatload of villagers who were satisfied, complimentary, and looked forward to the following week's garden.
And that's what keeps this Gardener going. The 99% of villagers who didn't write that goddamn note. The villagers who either say thanks, give constructive criticism or say nothing at all. Because shit man, if you like it that much and it's free...what's to grouse about?
---
Since people (including myself) like pop culture so much, here's the abridged version. Doesn't fit EXACTLY but captures the feeling.

"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of freedom I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way."
Col. Nathan R. Jessep

regards,
Bry

32 comments:

  1. fuck em if they can't take a joke, bry.
    they will take what they are given and like it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TarantioShannowMay 1, 2010 at 7:00 PM

    wow cool entry, loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The cool thing about Bryan is he'll respond, not only to the haters, as Malcolm does, but also to the fans. At least the British hot chick fans.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awesome post. I'm in the 99% that's glad you aren't letting the 1% get to you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't let the bastards get you down. The podcast is great! I don't care if you carve them into 2 parts or if one podcast is a bit short or whatever. It is a gas to hear you and Walt!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great blog post and loving the podcast / twitter feed!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You can't blame a guy for being upset that the podcast he's listening to cuts out at the midway point. It's jarring. At least when Kev does two shows in he row, he ends the first one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dude fuck the podcast you should just take up writing fables you can be the new aesop! :) that rocked dude! Keep up the posts and the pods man! I wait voraciously for the next TESD.

    ReplyDelete
  9. love the show. but sounds like your serving up week old produce

    ReplyDelete
  10. Loved the new ep, can't wait for the conclusion. Screw the haters, you're doing an amazing job with that sweet-ass garden.

    By the way, Yngwie´s pronounciation of "beat it" just sounds like he's talking about beating it off.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't particularly like it when the podcasts are shorter and cut in two, but it's completely worth it to hear Bryan and Walt chat. And it is free, I don't really see how anyone can complain. And if you don't like it, don't listen to it.

    Always looking forward to the next episode, keep up the awesome work!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have the solution... Miracle Grow.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dude, fuck that guy. You guys are fucking awesome and the podcast is great. It’s not like you guys need to change the podcast in order cater to the likings of one fuckin guy. Everyone has the right to listen to whatever they desire, and if they don’t like what they are hearing they can just listen to something else.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I thought the episode was cut at the right moment, it sounded like it was going somewhere good. plus #10 was one of my favorite TESD's, so I can already tell this friday's is gonna be hilarious as well. Oh yeah, Francis J, bry's at fault? what the fuck? As the creator/provider of this podcast, I think we should all just trust his judgement and accept it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Per Louis CK -

    “I was on an airplane recently and there was high-speed Internet on the airplane. That’s the newest thing that I know exists. And I’m sitting on the plane, and they go ‘Open up your laptop and you can go on the Internet.’ and it’s fast, and I’m watching YouTube clips – I’m in an airplane. And then it breaks down, and they apologize. The guy next to me goes “Psshhhh. This is bullshit.” Like how quickly the world owes him something – he knew existed only ten seconds ago!”

    ReplyDelete
  17. I don't care what happens, how long it takes, as long as the show continues in some form. Wouldn't mind two hours every two weeks, but I'm not complaining, mind you. Enjoy both co-hosts equally, the friendship is very much the main character. Often find it funnier than Smod, which is saying something since Smod is pretty funny.

    ReplyDelete
  18. i think a 40 - 60 minute podcast is enough per week... a cliffhanger is always good and an extra long one is alright now and again... at least you guys are consistent every week.... they're always great and always on time... there's nothing wrong with doing it your way...

    also @Nelson+Francis J; smodcast does this a fair bit... the same way as TESD does it, it gets too long so they cut it.... nobody owes you anything...



    one more thing.... i can't believe only one person posted "Tell'em Steve-Dave"

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can't believe people actually posted complaints on this page, after a f'n fable that sticks it to the haters. Haters are just gonna hate, because they are douchebags. Glad to see that you are motivated by the haters. If you got somethin that makes people hate on you, atleast you got somethin while they aint got shit.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hey guys, I really appreciate what you're doing with TESD. I listen to the same currently 11 episodes constantly, they never get old. You guys remind me of my best friends and the conversations we have regularly, so it's like coming home whenever I fire up the iPod.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Fuck'em Steve Dave.

    ReplyDelete
  22. At the end of an episode of Weeds, I don't shout at my tv "Hey, I love this show, but I want MORE! I know you cut the story line into separate parts & are ending this episode with a cliffhanger, so why don't you just give me the whole storyline. Fuck you, Weeds! Sincerely, a fan" Not only would this be a waste of energy--my tv never listens to me--but it's fucking stupid reasoning.

    Keep up the rad-as-shit podcast!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I agree! You guys are all so busy, it's totally reasonable to bank a few episodes while you have the time... I'd much rather have that than have weeks when there are no new episodes (as Kev & Scott do sometimes).

    Instead of writing a new fable you could've just pointed him to this one. Seems like it applies here.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I agree with this parable, however... Somehow Bry forgets that no matter what, 10% people will resent you. But keep up the great work. the other 90% love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Frank 2 said "Perkiomenville", about 40 miles northwest of Philly...Sorry if you've all ready got this info, or if it even matters anymore...just catching up on your pods.....you guys, (all three of you, meaning Brian Q also!!!) are an awesome team......LOVE the podcast!!!

    Ben,
    POTTstown, PA.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Seriously Bry, you totally rock.

    ReplyDelete
  27. When my mom went into the hospital a few weeks ago, I spent a lot of time away from my laptop. That continued when she passed away. When my dad asked my sisters and me to come with him on the trip Arkansas to Florida to spread a portion of Mom's ashes, the first thing I did was download the latest podcasts for the ride down. The internet in the hotel was crap, so the first thing I did when I got back was listen to last week's episode.

    Somebody's always going to bust your balls, especially if you've got a good thing going. I just wanted to let you know you all (even Ming) helped me get through a very rough patch this month, and I wanted to let you know I appreciate the effort.

    ReplyDelete
  28. At the minute I prefer you guys to SModcast. That's how much you rock :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. You make sure that at least an hour of my day will not suck

    ReplyDelete
  30. Wait... did Quinn order the code red?

    ReplyDelete